'Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization.' -- Eugene V. Debs

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Hey, I Think I'm Part of the Network 

Maybe you've heard about David Horowitz's new project, a web site cataloging nefarious leftists and the network of front groups and secret funding channels with which they pursue their goal of .. um .. destroying the United States of America from within. If not, here's the inimitable Wonkette:

We just about crapped ourselves with excitement when we stumbled on Discover The Network, a guide to the liberal conspiracy. So great! Finally, a way to keep track of our fave feminazis and lefty loonies!

But we can't seem to find anyone, like, interesting. And really, they're gonna need to do some better programming and database administration if we're going to keep up with those tricky liberals. Why no entry on that bra-burner and NOW President, Kim Gandy? She doesn't get her own entry? No Joe Trippi? No Doug Hattaway, no Jim Kolbe? And we're a little hurt by our exclusion, honestly. Fucking Eric Alterman? Garrison Keillor? This leftist conspiracy sucks it through my jeans.

Well, you know, for some reason I got passed over for a coveted spot in Discover the Network's 'individuals' database ... but in the 'groups' entry for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation I got quoted and linked to (do a "Find (on this page)" search for the phrase "one left American Internet blog" if you don't feel like reading about the horrors of Canadian public television).

So, you know, fuck the Koufax; this is better. And to Kim Gandy, Joe Trippi, Doug Hattaway, Jim Kolbe, and for that matter Michael Albert, Edward Herman, Staughton Lynd, Michael Parenti, and friends -- eat your hearts out losers!

Oh yeah, and to any of you network discoverers who have wandered into this neck of the woods, how about putting in a good word for me with the Ford Foundation -- I could use some of that leftwing blood money.

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